Robin Williams, Suicide, and "Choice"

I've had a variety of thoughts since hearing about the death of Robin Williams. I haven't, and will not be, voicing most of them. There is so much involved in our cultural response to death, suicide, and mental illness, that I think it's nearly impossible to speak about such things without having a long, long conversation. All the more so if we take our words seriously, and that is what Stoicism asks of us.

I do, however, have one thing to say. I have read many statements in sympathy and in anger that talk about how suicide was Mr. Williams' "choice." As Stoics, the concept of choice is pretty damned important, and I want to suggest that we think deeply before using it.

Suicide is often the outcome of mental illness, which it definitely seems to be in this case. Suicidal ideation is a symptom of depression, with which we know Mr. Williams struggled. Such thoughts are not the product of a rational mind sizing up life and finding it wanting. They are the outcome of a chemical imbalance that strips the world of meaning. Those dismal thoughts are also then evaluated by a "rational faculty" that itself is barely worth the term since it too is hobbled by the physical imbalances in the brain. Actions during a depression are chosen, yes, but in a manner that makes the word "choice" a caricature of what we should commonly mean. I would suggest we reserve "choice" for clearer instances and leave it be when it comes to situations where we can never know, like this one.

Well, as I said, there is too much to say on these topics. Concerning Robin Williams, I would like to see the man's life celebrated by those who felt a connection to him. I also hope that his death sparks a conversation, but one that doesn't drag him into it. Death, suicide, and mental illness are worthy topics for Stoics to discuss. Speculation on the final moments of a man's life? Not so much.

If you or a friend need someone to talk to follow this link: National Lifeline

Thumbnail image for posted links attributed to Vincepal on Flickr.

Michel Daw: Women and Stoicism

Michel Daw, Stoic teacher and swell guy, has something to say concerning 'Women and Stoicism.' You can sum up his post with a quote from his wife, Pamela;

"Stoicism is about being human and transcends gender."

Of course, women don't need permission from men to participate in Stoicism. However, men do have a responsibility to challenge our community to think clearly and act inclusively. I am happy to see Michel set the example. I hope to follow it.

LivingtheStoicLife.org : Women and Stoicism

Philosophy, (1896) a mural by Robert Lewis Reid located in the North Corridor on the Second Floor of the Library of Congress Thomas Jefferson Building.

A Strong Example for Stoics: My Son Wears a Dress

Seth Menachem wrote a wonderful parenting article called, "So my son wears a dress; What's it to you?" He isn't a stoic, to my knowledge, but he certainly presents a strong example for anyone attempting to stand up for rationality in the face of irrational social norms.

Away with the world's opinion of you—it's always unsettled and divided.

Seneca

Seth's two year old son happens to prefer dresses at the moment. Like so many two year olds, the child can express that preference in a way that wears on his parents nerves. During one episode, set off by Seth's attempt to steer his son towards "boy clothes" he had a wise realization.

"[Asher] had a huge tantrum as I tried to force his legs into a pair of shorts. His nose was running into his mouth as he cried and protested and I suddenly realized I was fighting for something I didn't even believe in. I was making my kid feel badly for something he shouldn't be ashamed of. And I stopped."

Dad had been worried about what other people would think. Suddenly, he realized that what those people think is their problem. Dad's problem, his duty, was to be a father to his son, raise him well, and enjoy life in the process. So Seth did the rational thing, he let his son wear the dress. Little Asher continues to wear dresses in public, and continues to raise eyebrows. Seth doesn't shoulder the burden of those judgments. He runs into obstacles, but he faces them all very well, one might say he faces them stoically.

I have a daughter, so it's unlikely that I'll face the same sort of social friction. Freyja could wear jeans and a t-shirt every day of the week and no one would bat an eye. Not that I don't run into my community's gendering issues all the time. Take any ten month old with short hair out into the world in any color other than pink or purple and you won't have to wait long for the masculine pronouns to roll in. But that's just knee-jerk reactions, no one continues on to question my parenting simply because my daughter is wearing forest green.

Read the article. You'll find great examples of stoic judgments and actions in a modern context. Seth's older daughter even acts like a philosopher of old and gets her dad to face some real potential embarrassment! Good stuff.