RESOURCES
Ancient Stoicism
The Enchiridion, Meditations, Diogenes Laertius Book 7
Discourses 1-2 & 3-4, Musonius Rufus, so much Seneca, Cicero On Duties
Modern Stoic Books
Stoicism and the Art of Happiness, Stoic Spiritual Exercises, Stoicism Today
Guide to the Good Life, The Inner Citadel
Online Resources
Are you a Stoic Sage yet? Hahaha...I'm kidding, of course. You're not. I'm not. No one is. We're loaded with all the inconsistencies that make us human. We're petty, needy, dismissive, cruel, thoughtless, perhaps all these things within a single hour! So how do we start over? How do we reset, knowing that we were so embarrassingly wrong a minute ago, or yesterday, or for entire years of our life? How do we press on knowing we'll probably screw up again tomorrow? What do we do when we stumble?
Hi, I'm Matt Van Natta and this is Good Fortune. Today's questions:
How am I supposed to react when I screw up?
How can I stop blaming myself (should I stop blaming myself?) when the fact is I really did do something wrong?
And finally, what exercise can get me back into my Stoic practice?
Alright, let's get started.
[Raven Caws]
How am I supposed to react when I screw up?
Let's begin with a mindset to aim towards. Here's the beginning of Meditations 5:9:
"Not to feel exasperated, or defeated, or despondent because your days aren't packed with wise and moral actions. But to get back up when you fail, to celebrate behaving like a human --however imperfectly-- and fully embrace the pursuit you've embarked on."
That sounds healthy, right? Pick yourself up, dust off, and get going again. Yet I've been in places where my shame cuts deep. Where I can't forsee others ever forgiving me and I don't really think I deserve to forgive myself. What then?
If you are living out Stoicism, however imperfectly, you are a prokopton. Prokopton is a Greek word that's applied to Stoic students, though prokopton does not mean 'student.' It means, a 'person who is progressing.' So we are progressors pursuing moral progress; which is a very difficult task. We're likely to loose ground from time to time, take a step forward and then two back. This is natural, unfortunate, but natural. Of course, bad fortune born nobly is good fortune, so with that in mind, we have to begin viewing our failings as lessons and use what we learn about ourselves to readjust and carry on.
In the Discourses Book 3, Chapter 25, lines 1-4, Epictetus has this to say about our personal failures:
"Of the things that you initially proposed for yourself, consider which you have achieved and which you haven’t, and how it gives you joy to recall some of them and pain to recall others, and, if possible, try to recover even those that have slipped from your grasp. For those who are engaged in the greatest of contests shouldn’t flinch, but must be prepared also to take blows. For the contest that lies in front of us is not in wrestling or the pancration, in which, whether or not one meets with success, it is possible for one to be of the highest worth or of little, and by Zeus, to be most happy or most miserable; no, this is a contest for good fortune and happiness itself. What follows, then? In this contest, even if we should falter for a while, no one can prevent us from resuming the fight, nor is it necessary to wait another four years for the next Olympic Games to come around, but as soon as one has recovered and regained one’s strength, and can muster the same zeal as before, one can enter the fight; and if one should fail again, one can enter once again, and if one should carry off the victory one fine day, it will be as if one had never given in."
We are in a contest for the best things, the things that will allow us to flourish. And this is a contest that we can reenter whenever we're ready. Best yet, if we finally win, our past record gets wiped away. Meaning that true contentment banishes the ghosts of past failures. Not because we pretend we didn't harm others but because we can look the facts in the eyes and simply choose to do better. It's the hurting person, the one that can't overcome past mistakes who hides from the truth of who they've been and therefore continues to make the same mistakes. The flourishing individual is able to take up the hard work of facing others, acknowledge our mistakes, and repair the damage if possible. We need to follow Epictetus' advice, recover, regain our strength, muster our zeal, and begin again.
[Raven Caws]
How can I stop blaming myself (should I stop blaming myself) when the fact is I really did do something wrong?
Before we learn to stop blaming ourselves, let's recall why Stoics don't blame others. Here's the end of Chapter 5 of the Enchiridion:
"...whenever we are hindered or troubled or distressed, let us never blame others, but ourselves, that is, our own judgments. The uneducated person blames others for their failures; those who have just begun to be instructed blame themselves; those whose learning is complete blame neither others nor themselves."
It's not that other people don't do wrong, it's that they can't make us do wrong. It's our own actions that we control, so that's where we place our energy. The devil did not make me do it, I failed myself. So Epictetus says the uneducated blame others, we progressors blame ourselves, but the ones who really get it blame neither themselves nor others. What does he mean by that?
Some have interpreted Epictetus' final remark to be speaking of the perfect Stoic Sage, a mythic figure who never is at fault and therefore can not be blamed. I would like to propose a different and, I believe, more practical reading. In my view the still imperfect, but fully educated Stoic has realized and internalized that the same Stoic understanding which allows us to accept and pity the errors of other people can also and should also be applied to ourselves.
In Stoicism, moral failings are due to ignorance of a better way to act. All people honestly strive for what is expedient for them and if they choose wrongly, it's because they were ignorant of the better solution. To back this up we can again look to Epictetus.
Discourses Book 1, Chapter 18 is titled, 'That we ought not to be angry with the erring.' Here's the first few lines:
"If what the philosophers say is true, that in all people thought and action start from a single source, namely feeling--as in the case of assent the feeling that a thing is so, and in the case of dissent the feeling that it is not so, yes, and, by Zeus, in the case of suspended judgement the feeling that it is uncertain, so also in the case of impulse towards a thing, the feeling that it is expedient for me and that it is impossible to judge one thing expedient and yet desire another, and again, to judge one thing fitting, and yet to be impelled to another--if all this be true, why are we any longer angry with the multitude?--'They are thieves,' says someone, 'and robbers.'-- What do you mean by 'thieves and robbers?' They have simply gone astray in questions of good and evil. Ought we, therefore, to be angry with them, or rather pity them?"
Those opening lines concerning feeling, assent, dissent, judgement, and the like contain a quick rundown of Stoic psychology. So when Epictetus gets to "if all this be true, why are we any longer angry..." he's saying that accepting Stoicism's axioms concerning the human mind leaves no room for blame. We acknowledge that the offender could not have done any differently with the information and perspective that they had at the time. Instead of anger and offense, we are left with Stoic pity. It's an attitude that is free from anger and which is willing to engage with, and even assist the ignorant individual (through correction if possible, or simply through continued goodwill despite their offense). I suggest that it is essential that we apply that same Stoic pity towards our past selves.
You may be protesting that you can not pity your ignorance, because you knew better than to do what you did. And yes, in general, I suspect that all of us have the knowledge that rudeness, hatefulness, and bigotry are wrong. We understand that theft, and violence, and murder are bad. I have no doubt that most of us would accept these ideas. However, there is a difference between subscribing to a belief and embodying that belief. I used to shoplift as a young man. Not out of any need. Out of arrogance, for the sake of a thrill. I absolutely understood that theft was wrong. I was taught that, I could recite it, and I am certain that I would have protested if anything was taken from me. But in the end, I felt that taking something for myself was better than not doing so. My actions defined my true beliefs.
I'm not happy that I used to be that person, and it has been a very long time since I stole from another. Now I have a wider and deeper set of convictions, but I still dismiss them when it suits me. I've been bold enough to tell each of you to expect people to make mistakes and then let it go. But I still get angry at people from time to time. Why? Because I feel that acting on my anger will get me what I desire more quickly than acting Stoically would allow. I know better, but I don't believe better in that moment. In these moments I am displaying the same kind of ignorance that, hopefully, spurs me to be gracious to others. Those whose learning is complete blame neither themselves nor others. Can't we take pity on ourselves? Instead of lashing out with anger, or sulking in our disappointment, why not recognize that we are human and therefore fallible. Why not use our mistake as a lesson and instruct ourselves in better ways? Let's get back up when we fail, to celebrate behaving like a human --however imperfectly-- and fully embrace the pursuit we've embarked on.
[Raven Caws]
And finally, what exercise can get me back into my Stoic practice?
How do we rehabilitate our Stoicism? We write.
Writing was and is a Stoic philosophical exercise. Every line I read to you from Marcus Aurelius is part of a personal journal that he kept. It was never meant to be published. Each chapter was a reminder to himself of the wisdom he had learned from others. He was recalling these lessons to combat his own failings. When Marcus wrote about the need to be gracious to the jerks he met in court, he had just finished dealing with a bunch of jerks in court. The Meditations are not filled with original thoughts. The Emperor was recalling Stoic teachings in order to apply them to his own unique situation. We should all be doing this. We should be examining our failures, uncovering better ways to act, and reminding ourselves of those better ways daily. Writing provides a means of conversing with yourself, for both admonishment and praise.
I began ImmoderateStoic.com in order to push myself to study and understand Stoicism. It is challenging to speak simply and clearly about a subject while still retaining the richness of the Stoic perspective. This constant practice of bringing old lessons back to mind and attempting to explain them has greatly enriched my life. Less publicly, I keep both a physical journal and a huge number of notes in the Evernote app. I keep the physical journal because the act of pen to paper writing commits thoughts to memory more readily than typing (that's just good science, look it up). I keep my Evernote journal because my phone is always with me, I can easily search through my notes, and I'd have to carry a library's worth of physical notebooks if I printed out all I had online.
Write about your philosophy. Recall your failures, find solutions, and commit both to paper. The next time you stumble you can look to see how you last recovered, and you can get over yourself that much quicker.
[Raven Caws]
Thank you for listening to episode eight and thank you for sending in episode ideas. I am definitely going to use many of them. Feel free to keep them coming, I have a special folder where I cut and paste every request so that I don't lose them.
Good Fortune episodes come out on the 1st and 3rd Thursday of the month. As always, visit ImmoderateStoic.com for this podcast and my writings. There is a comment section on every post if you have something to share. You can subscribe to Good Fortune on my website or through iTunes. If you listen through iTunes I greatly appreciate reviews. I'm @goodfortunecast on Twitter. And you can also hear me on the Stoic podcast, Painted Porch at PaintedPorch.org. Speaking of twitter, a local stoic introduced herself to me and that got me wondering how many Portland, Oregon Stoics are out there. Let me know if you're in the area, I'd love to meet you.
The music is by Tryad off of their album Public Domain.
And finally, Always remember, 'misfortune born nobly is good fortune.' And therefore, I wish you all good fortune until next time.
[Raven Caws]
[Opening Music]
Meditations, Book 12, Chapter 4:
"It never ceases to amaze me: we all love ourselves more than other people, but care more about their opinion than our own."
People can be a pain. It's not just me, right? People are rude, they back stab, they put their own projects above yours even when you're meant to be on the same team. I'm not a misanthrope (no Stoic should be) but I definitely laughed at a recent tweet from Existential Comics; "I feel like humanity really went wrong when we first decided to speak to each other. Nothing good has come from it."
Hi, I'm Matt Van Natta and this is Good Fortune. Today's questions:
What do I do when people are the obstacles?
How can I remain my best self when everyone else is being their worst self?
When does a Stoic call it quits?
Alright, let's get started.
[Crow Caws]
What do I do when people are the obstacles?
Sometimes the biggest challenges in life have first names. You might be a pleasant, happy go lucky, turn the other cheek sort of person, but that's no guarantee that someone won't decide you're in their way. How are we supposed to handle these situations. Tit for tat and an eye for an eye? Allow them to roll right over us? Some middle ground between those extremes? Well, we're here to talk about Stoicism, so you can bet that before we wrestle with our adversary we must first get our own perspective in order.
Here's another thought from Emperor Aurelius from Book 7, Chapter 26;
"When people injure you, ask yourself what good or harm they thought would come of it. If you understand that, you'll feel sympathy rather than outrage or anger. Your sense of good and evil may be the same as theirs, in which case you have to excuse them. Or your sense of good and evil may differ from theirs. In which case they're misguided and deserve your compassion. Is that so hard?"
Actually, yes Aurelius, it can be really hard. However, it's a noble goal to strive for. But before we do, a caveat. Never allow Stoicism to be a 'blame the victim' philosophy. Callousness, cruelty, and the like are wrong. Truly. Stoicism does not diminish that, nor does it absolve others of whatever injustices they perpetrate. What we're recognizing is that, unfortunately, we can't change what has happened, we can only choose how to respond. The mental realignment that Marcus Aurelius recommends, this attempt to develop sympathy and compassion for others, is meant to fuel our own virtuous actions. Instead of responding in kind, we respond Stoically, with the welfare of all involved in mind.
In the next section, I'll talk more in depth about developing sympathy and compassion. But for now, let's stick with simply accepting the situation we're in. Here's another Aurelius based technique (everything this episode is coming out of the Meditations, the Emperor's life at court obviously meant working with a lot of devious, scheming individuals and he had a lot to say about it);
"In the ring, our opponents can gouge us with their nails or butt us with their heads and leave a bruise, but we don't denounce them for it or get upset with them or regard them from then on as violent types. We just keep an eye on them after that. Not out of hatred or suspicion, just keeping a friendly distance.
We need to do that in other areas. We need to excuse what our sparring partners do, and just keep our distance - without suspicion or hatred." (6.20)
If you've listened to Episode Two you may remember Aurelius' morning meditation, his reminder to himself that when going about his day, it's inevitable that some people will be obstacles. This wrestling analogy is similar. There are rules in wrestling, you're not supposed to get gouged, headbutted, and the like. But sports are messy. Sometimes things go wrong. Taking part in a sport means accepting that danger. We should approach life the same way. Sometimes we're scratched up by others because we're in the wrong place at the wrong time. Our co-worker might be a jerk just because she needs to get her blood sugar up! Who knows? At times it's best to not take it personal. Still, we keep an eye on them and a friendly distance. The benefit of the doubt doesn't mean we have to keep ourselves in a precarious situation.
Now, I've been assuming that we're in the right in all these situations. One more line from the Meditations before we move on. Book 10, Chapter 37; "Learn to ask of all actions, 'Why are the doing that?' Starting with your own."
[Crow Caws]
How can I remain my best self when everyone else is being their worst self?
Now it's time to work on our ability to feel sympathy and compassion for our adversaries. We begin by asking of every action a person does, "Why are they doing that?" The key is to not answer the question with, "because they're a jerk," or "because they are evil!" In Stoic thought all people are always looking to do good (as they understand it), because they want the best for themselves. So we can also ask, "what good did they think would come from this?" If I'm in customer service and a customer I've never met decides to berate me about store policy, why? What does she think the outcome is going to be? Does she believe yelling is the simplest way to get to speak to a manager? Does she think it gives her greater power in the situation? Is her anger just covering the frustration and disappointment of a horrible day? Any of those reasons may be unreasonable to you, but her actions are reasonable considering her personal subjective beliefs about the world. Understanding this can give you at least three benefits. One, as Aurelius said, "When people injure you, ask yourself what good or harm they thought would come of it. If you understand that, you'll feel sympathy rather than outrage or anger." However, even if you can't raise up any sympathy in yourself, understanding their reasoning can lead to benefit two, a better chance of diffusing the situation. Because if you understand what they really want, if you can step out of yourself and into their mind for a moment, you can possibly provide what they need. Three, you can demystify their social status.
Alright, that's a weird way to say what I'm thinking. In Meditations Book 9, Chapter 27, the first lines say,
"When you face someone's insults, hatred or whatever...look at his soul. Get inside him. Look at what sort of person he is. You'll find you don't need to strain to impress him..."
Emperor Aurelius has notes throughout his journal that remind him of the same thing, that if look at who your adversaries really are you won't bend over backwards to impress them. And he was the Emperor! Who was he trying to impress? Well, I opened with this quote, "It never ceases to amaze me: we all love ourselves more than other people, but care more about their opinion than our own." People at all levels of status fall into this need to impress others, to endear ourselves to others. Sometimes we have to shed that burden before we can act well. Yes, the person who's yelling at me right now is a Senator, but I'm not here to endear myself to the powerful, I'm here to do right the best I know how. Of course, while we're not "straining to impress people" we are still treating them with humanity. Chapter 27 continues, "But you do have to wish him well. He is your closest relative. The gods assist him, just as they do you..." So we're not taking them down a peg so that we can fell superior. We're just reminding ourselves that our job is to do our best, not necessarily to make others happy.
I'm going to end this section with an avalanche of quotes:
"The tranquility that comes when you stop caring what they say. Or think, or do. Only what you do. (Is it fair? Is it the right thing to do?)" ~4:18
and
"So other people hurt me? That's their problem. What is done to me is ordained by nature, what I do by my own." ~5:25
also
"If an action or utterance is appropriate, then it's appropriate for you. Don't be put off by other people's comments and criticism. If it's right to say or do it, then it's the right thing to do or say.
The others obey their own lead, follow their own impulses. Don't be distracted. Keep walking. Follow your own nature, and follow Nature--along the road they share." ~5:3
finally
"Someone despises me.
That's their problem.
Mine: Not to say or do anything despicable.
Someone hates me. Their problem.
Mine: To be patient and cheerful with everyone, including them. Ready to show them their mistake. Not spitefully, or to show off my own self-control, but in an honest, upright way...That's what we should be like inside, and never let the gods catch us feeling anger or resentment.
As long as you do what's proper to your nature, and accept what the world's nature has in store--as long as you work for other's good, by any and all means--what is there that can harm you?" ~11:13
[Crow Caws]
When does a Stoic call it quits?
Here's Meditations Book 6, Chapter 50:
"Do your best to convince them. But act on your own, if justice requires it. If met with force, fall back on acceptance and peacability. Use the setback to practice other virtues. Remember that our efforts are subject to circumstances, you weren't aiming to do the impossible.
-Aiming to do what then?
To try. And you succeeded. What you set out to do is accomplished."
There's a lot to unpack here. But to understand Aurelius' position. we need to talk about the Stoic Reserve clause.
I will get this podcast out on time, God willing. You've heard people say god willing before, right? Maybe you say it? To some people it has meaning, to others it may just be a cultural habit, like saying bless you after a person sneezes. For the ancient Stoics, god willing, or more specifically, Zeus willing, was an important philosophical exercise. Oh, and for anyone who who may not want to invoke God/Zeus or the like, here are two other possibilities to express a similar sentiment. "Fate permitting, I will get this podcast out on time. or simply, "I will get this podcast out on time, if nothing prevents me."
OK. We've talked before about what is in our control. The Reserve Clause is a means of applying the control/not in our control dichotomy to our plans in life. Donald Robertson, in his book "The Philosophy of Cognitive Behavioural Therapy" says that,
"The Stoic...makes a point of qualifying the expression of every intention, by introducing a distinction between his will and external factors beyond his control. The Sage thereby holds two complementary propositions in mind simultaneously, viz.,
1. I will do my very best to succeed.
2. While simultaneously accepting that the ultimate outcome is beyond my direct control."
Think of archery; the original Stoics often did. An archer can choose equipment, draw back properly, aim well, and release, but the moment that arrow is off the bow string, the archer has no control. A gust of wind could mean missing the target. A strong wind could mean the target falls over! The archer does their best to maximize the chance that the arrow hits the target, but they can't control the outcome. And similarly, Aurelius asks himself to, "remember that our efforts are subject to circumstances, you weren't aiming to do the impossible. -Aiming to do what then? To try. And you succeeded. What you set out to do is accomplished." Stoics take the best action we can with the information we have. Sometimes we don't hit the mark, our best case scenario doesn't materialize. No matter, we'll keep doing good in the situation that is at hand. We, "use the setback to practice other virtues."
So when does a Stoic call it quits. In one sense, never. We live our lives aiming to take virtuous actions, and we never run out of opportunities to do this. If we think and act well, we are always succeeding. But when do we end a project in life, decide a particular outcome isn't going to happen, and move on? Well, if the only way to make something happen would require us to be unjust, foolish, cowardly, or greedy, we should abandon that project. Otherwise, feel free to keep going until wisdom tells you it's time to do something new. We're all fortunate to have an infinite quiver of arrows with which we can attempt to hit the mark.
[Crow Caws]
Thank you for listening to Episode 7 of Good Fortune. I hope the topics of each episode have been interesting, useful, and clearly presented. Thank you all for the feedback I've received on Twitter, Facebook, G+, and Reddit. Speaking of topics, if you have ideas of things I could cover, Stoic concepts, life events, whatever, please let me know. Leave a comment, send a tweet, or an owl from Hogwart's. I've thought through episode 10 but after that it's up to the Muses whether or not more ideas come my way without your assistance.
As always, visit ImmoderateStoic.com for this podcast and my writings. You can subscribe to Good Fortune on my website or through iTunes. If you do listen through iTunes I always appreciate reviews. I'm @goodfortunecast on Twitter. And you can also hear me on the Stoic podcast, Painted Porch at PaintedPorch.org.
The music is by Tryad off of their album Public Domain.
And finally, Always remember, 'misfortune born nobly is good fortune.' And therefore, I wish you all good fortune until next time.
[Crow Caws]
The news. Whether it's delivered by a concerned friend, a gossiping co-worker, or a 24 hour television station, difficult news is never far away. Here in the United States, in a little over a week, we've seen murders, watched those deaths effect the beginnings of, at least symbolic, change. And as symbols of man's inhumanity to man come down off of flagpoles, we've also seen a real victory concerning equality under the law and human dignity. With all that going on we hear about more personal things, potential layoffs at our business, a friend who's seriously ill, your favorite player was traded to a different team.The news comes in fast and never seems to leave us alone. What's a Stoic to do?
Hi, I'm Matt Van Natta and this is Good Fortune. Today's questions:
How are Stoics meant to react to news, particularly the 'bad' kind?
Stoics use the term 'indifferent' a lot, what do you mean by that?
Is there anything I can do to feel more in control after receiving bad news?
[Crow Caws]
"Whenever some disturbing news is reported to you, you ought to have ready at hand the following principle: News, on any subject, never falls within the sphere of the moral purpose."
That line is from Epictetus, found in his third book of discourses, Chapter 28. I suppose I can end the episode now, since I've given you the answer. News, on any subject, never falls within the moral purpose. And our moral purpose is where Stoicism tells us to direct all our energy and action. So what do we do with that? Should we never be distressed by the cruelty of the world? Are we meant to shrug at others suffering and simply attend to ourselves? Of course not. But I think we need to unpack some stuff to see why not.
So first we'll allow Epictetus to expand on his own thoughts. After stating that news never falls within the sphere of the moral purpose, he continues, "Can anyone bring you word that you have been wrong in an assumption or in a desire? -By no means- But he can bring you word that someone is dead. Very well, what is that to you? That someone is speaking ill of you? Very well, what is that to you? That your father is making preparations? Against whom? Surely not against your moral purpose, is it? Why, how can he? But against your paltry body, against your paltry possessions; you are safe, it is not against you."
To understand this argument, we need to look at the Stoic concept of the self and also the preeminence of morality in their worldview. In Stoicism, you are very small and very powerful. What do I mean by that? Well, look at the Father in Epictetus' example. This hypothetical father is taking some sort of action against a Stoic student, perhaps disinheriting him. So this news is quite personal, it's not about a distant war or the misfortunes of a stranger, instead it's literally close to home. Yet the teacher Epictetus says, "what is that to you?" The news may concern your possessions, even your body, but it has nothing to do with YOU. This only makes sense if we understand that in Stoicism, the real you is the ability to choose.
I've avoided a lot of greek terms in these episodes, but today I'm breaking one out. Hegemonikon, the Ruling Faculty of the Mind. According to the ancient Stoics, the hegemonikon was where all higher cognitive functions and experiences happened. Most importantly, the hegemonikon is the part of us that makes decisions. Also important is that our hegemonikon is considered invincible. Not even Zeus, says Epictetus, can violate our moral will. In Stoicism, this mental complex, the part of us that allows for moral choice, is the real you, the important you, an oh so small aspect of your total humanity, but also the most preeminent and powerful aspect of yourself.
Now, I will take modern neuroscience over early Greek biology every time. The Stoics claimed the hegemonikon resides in the heart, for instance. Still, I think the concept of the hegemonikon, the ruling faculty, is still useful today. Because if you can agree with Stoicism that what really matters isn't what happens in the world, but how you respond to what happens to the world, then you can flourish personally and have a really good chance of helping the world around you flourish as well.
So look again at the student's 'bad' news concerning his father. Epictetus says, "your father is making preparations? Against whom? Surely not against your moral purpose, is it? Why, how can he? But against your paltry body, against your paltry possessions; you are safe, it is not against you." The teacher is saying, 'yes, something is happening and it could mean the loss of possessions, physical comfort, or even your health. What about this situation can force you to be less than your best? Nothing.
Later in Chapter 28, Epictetus says, "Your father has a certain function, and if he does not preform it, he has destroyed the father in him, the man who loves his offspring, the man of gentleness within him. Do not seek to make him lose anything else on this account. For it never happens that a man goes wrong in one thing, but is injured in another. Again, it is your function to defend yourself firmly, respectfully, without passion. Otherwise, you have destroyed within you the son, the respectful man, the man of honor." This part is important. The son, by Epictetus' logic, can not be harmed by his father's actions, but that does not leave him passive. It allows him to defend himself with a clear head. He remains respectful, does not get angry or depressed or seek revenge, but he does defend himself firmly.
Every episode I end with the Marcus Aurelius quote, "misfortune born nobly is good fortune." Whenever you receive distressing news, remember that line. Can you change what you just heard? No. Can you respond well, both emotionally and with action if possible? Absolutely.
[Crow Caws]
So I just talked on and on about the Stoic concern with moral choice. Now I want to address Stoic indifference. Epictetus claims that, "all news, on any subject falls outside of the sphere of the moral purpose." In Stoic terminology, he just said that all news is indifferent. Indifference comes up a lot in Stoic writings. All those things we don't control, the things I mentioned in Episode 4, body, property, reputation, and so on...these are all indifferent. But as I say that, it's important to understand the Stoic context. Specifically, Stoic indifference means that an object or event does not affect our morality. It is not, is never, an emotional term. The unloving father in our example is morally indifferent in that nothing he does can force his son to act without virtue. Yet his son would not be acting stoically if he disengaged with his father, wrote him off, and cared nothing for him. As I already mentioned, Epictetus expects that the son will defend himself, but do so respectfully as a proper son, even though his father is not much of a father at all.
So don't fall into the trap of believing Stoic indifference has anything to do with your emotional attachment to or concern for the world at large. Lack of concern for the world is deeply unStoic. Marcus Aurelius said his only comfort was moving from one act of service for humanity to another. Epictetus defines right and good actions as those that are at the same time affectionate and consistent with reason. Stoic indifference is meant to free us for action. We can say, no matter what you do, world, I will respond through virtue; justly, wisely, with temperance and courage. No obstacle can keep me from being my best.
[Crow Caws]
Is there anything I can do to feel more in control after hearing bad news?
I often talk about Stoic engagement with the world, that we concentrate on what we control so that our actions are useful and powerful. So how are we supposed to 1. internalize the idea that news does not touch our moral center and 2. engage with that same world in a moral, community-centered way?
In Good Fortune, Episode 3, I spoke of a practice called Physical Definition. In this practice, we break down the object or situation that's vexing us into its constituent parts, until we can view it devoid of our preconceptions. Feel free to listen to or read the transcripts of that episode for more information. Today I want to suggest that we can use that same Physical Definition to view disturbing news from a Stoic perspective while also encouraging ourselves to act with purpose within our own sphere of influence.
I agree with the poet Emma Lazarus that "until we are all free, we are none of us free." And so learning of a white supremacist attack in a church, the suppression of peaceful protests in the streets of my country or any other, the denial of human dignity through the letter of the law; all of this weighs on me. It challenges my humanity and asks me 'what, Matt, are you going to do about this?' In answer, I have to first ask, 'what CAN I do about it?' The simple answer to that question is often, 'very little.'
I usually can't fix what was broken. I can't heal the wounded or bring back the dead. I can, perhaps, rage against injustice, but I run the risk of believing my emotions are actions. They are not. I remember reading a psychological study back in college that found the simple act of washing hands could assuage guilt. Individuals can actually 'wash away' their sins. Of course, doing so does nothing to correct the damage that the guilty have done. It simply makes them feel better. Emotions can act like that washing of hands. Righteous indignation can feel important, but it very means little if it doesn't drive us to constructive, righteous actions. So what can we do?
In Marcus Aurelius' writings about Physical Definition, he says this, "What is it -- this thing that now forces itself on my notice? What is it made up of? How long was it designed to last? And what qualities do I need to bring to bear on it -- tranquility, courage, honesty, trustworthiness, straightforwardness, independence or what?" This is the part of the practice I think we should concentrate on. What qualities of ourselves should we bring to bear on the issue at hand? Have you learned of an injustice? What sort? What would be the proper response, if you had been part of the event? Then, is there a way, here, now, in my own town, my own sphere of influence, that I can work towards a similar justice? We can replace all our impotent despair, disgust, rage, and the like, with potent actions if we are willing to do the work of a virtuous life. So let's get to it.
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Thank you for listening to episode six. It took forever to get this done. Sorry about that, I am very much enjoying my new job as an instructor for the American Red Cross, but those first few weeks demanded a lot of my time. As always, visit ImmoderateStoic.com for this podcast and my writings. There is a comment section on every post if you have something to share. You can subscribe to Good Fortune on my website or through iTunes. If you listen through iTunes I greatly appreciate reviews. Thank you, those who have already written reviews. I'm @goodfortunecast on Twitter. And you can also hear me on the Stoic podcast, Painted Porch at PaintedPorch.org.
The music is by Tryad off of their album Public Domain.
And finally, Always remember, 'misfortune born nobly is good fortune.' And therefore, I wish you all good fortune until next time.
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So we wake up and begin the day as Stoics. We prepare ourselves for the inconveniences of life with a Morning Meditation, we strive to pay attention to our thoughts throughout the day and we divide events into those that we do and do not control...eventually, the sun sets, we get ready to sleep until another day begins. How did we do? Did we succeed at the day we just lived? Did we fail? Most likely we did a bit of both. Should we just go to sleep and leave the past in the past, or should we learn lessons from the day, celebrate our successes and admonish ourselves for our faults? How DOES a Stoic end the day?
Hi. I'm Matt Van Natta and this is Good Fortune. Today's questions: Is there a Stoic way to go to sleep? And Is it possible to do Stoic exercises incorrectly? And finally, a bonus means of applying today's exercise, this one aimed at parents.
All right, let's get started.
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Is there a Stoic way to go to sleep?
Of course there is, those ancient Stoics had opinions about pretty much everything. In the case of preparing to sleep, Stoics call on a practice that predates Stoicism itself. This exercise is often called the Evening Meditation, though I prefer the term Retrospective Mediation. Variations of the Evening Meditation are found in Seneca's works AND in Epictetus's Discourses. In Discourses Book 3, Chapter 10, Line 3, we find Epictetus quoting a Pythagorean practice.
“Do not let sleep fall upon your soft eyes
Before you have gone over each act of your day three times:
Where have I failed? At what have I succeeded? What duty have I omitted?
Begin here , and continue the examination. After this
Find fault with what was badly done, and rejoice in what was good.”
The Retrospective Meditation is meant to assist us in LEARNING from the life we're living. No matter how well we prepare for the day, beginning our Morning with the View from Above and girding our minds like Aurelius recommends in his Mediations, we will stumble. We MAY notice that we've screwed up, but we may be oblivious to it. Perhaps the reason the meeting didn't go well is because I was the obstinate jerk, not my co-worker like I had convinced myself at the time. When do we take the time to learn from our mistakes? because moving on is not the same as learning. If I am put in the same situation again, will I fail again, or will I flourish?
We find Seneca's mention of Retrospective Meditation in his work titled On Anger. I'll quote from the translation used in Elen Buzare's excellent book Stoic Spiritual Exercises.
"[One's mind] should be summoned each day to give account of itself. Sextius used to do this. At the day's end, when he had retired for the night, he would interrogate his mind: 'What ailment of yours have you cured today? What failing have you resisted? Where can you show improvement?...
Could anything be finer than this habit of sifting through the whole day? Think of the sleep that follows the self-examination! How calm, deep, unimpeded it must be, when the mind has been praised or admonished and - its own sentinel and censor - has taken stock secretly of its own habits."
I like the promise of better sleep. I've had many an anxious night in my own life, so I appreciate the calm sleep that comes with being at peace with oneself. Now here's the part where I admit that I often skip my Evening Meditation. Which is ridiculous because I CAN attest to the fact that it is a powerful exercise that, at lest for me, truly delivers. It's purely a lack of discipline on my part that has kept me from practicing nightly. That said, working on this episode has gotten me back on track and I'm happy that it has.
In both Retrospective Meditations, we find a series of three questions.
In Epictetus: Where have I failed? At what have I succeeded? What duty have I omitted?
In Seneca: What ailment of yours have you cured today? What failing have you resisted? Where can you show improvement?
Each of these sets of questions requires radical honesty with ourselves if they're to be effective. I should hope we can all be bold enough to be that honest, after all, Seneca mentions that our mind takes stock SECRETLY of its own habits. There's no requirement to share anything with the world, other that more compassionate and rational actions as we improve ourselves.
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Is it possible to do the Stoic evening meditation, or really, any Stoic meditation, wrong?
Yes. Stoic exercises can be done incorrectly. Improper Stoic practices stem from a Chicken and the Egg problem. In order to exercise Stoicism properly, we have to understand the Stoic worldview, but taking in that worldview requires the practice...and so on and so forth. Many of the ancient Stoics had the benifit of instruction from teachers. Teachers who could check their mental form the same way a trainer can correct the form of an athlete. Modern Stoics have it harder. Many of us pick up a practice here and there, and don't get to see how the practice fits into the whole of Stoic teaching until much later in our journey. This is one of the reasons I harp on the expected outcomes of a Stoic life. Quotes like this one from Seneca,
"No school has more goodness and gentleness; none has more love for human beings, nor more attention to the common good. The goal which it assigns to us is to be useful, to help others, and to take care, not only of ourselves, but of everyone in general and of each one in particular."
or definitions like this one from Marcus Aurelius:
"Nothing should be called good that fails to enlarge our humanity."
If we see clearly what the Stoic life is said to be, but can find no way that a certain practice could lead to that place, then either the Stoics are simply wrong, or our thinking is wrong concerning that Stoic practice.
The primary pitfall concerning the Evening or Retrospective Meditation is this: believing that clearly seeing and admonishing ourselves for our failures is the same thing as wallowing in those failures. Stoicism never recommends beating ourselves up for our faults. Stoics seek to overcome our weaknesses, not dwell on them forever.
I will be linking to a Stoicism Today article by Donald Robertson titled "The Evening Meditation: Some Reflections." I recommend reviewing it for more about the Retrospective Meditation. At one point Donald says,
"Seneca describes his self-examination as if it were analogous to a defendant appearing in court. It’s important not to allow this to turn into a kind of morbid rumination or worry. I think there’s perhaps just a knack to keeping it constructive that comes with experience. Another observation I’d make that might help Stoics manage this is that, of course, the events being reviewed, as they are in the past, are all in the domain of things outside of your control and therefore, I assume, “indifferent” in the Stoic sense of the word. Hence, there’s not much point worrying about them. The most we can do is learn from them."
He is exactly right. We can't repair our mistakes, but we can fix what ails us so that we don't make that mistake again.
Donald Robertson's quote mentions Seneca's courtroom version of the Evening Meditation. I think it's worth looking at as an example of how to practice this discipline.
"Every day I plead my cause before the bar of myself. When the light has been removed from sight, and my wife, long aware of my habit, has become silent, I scan the whole of my day and retrace all my deeds and words. I conceal nothing from myself, I omit nothing. For why should I shrink from any of my mistakes, when I may commune thus with myself? 'See that you never do that again. I will pardon you this time. In that dispute, you spoke too offensively; after this don't have encounters with ignorant people; those who have never learned do not want to learn. You reproved that man more frankly than you ought, and consequently you have not so much mended him as offended him. In the future, consider not only the truth of what you say, but also whether the man to whom you are speaking can endure the truth. A good man accepts reproof gladly, the worse a man is the more bitterly he resents it."
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That's all I have to share concerning the standard use of the Retrospective Meditation, but I want to present an alternative use that I wrote about on ImmoderateStoic.com some time back.
A few years ago I came across an article on how to properly praise children. The article sited actual child development research it wasn't simply a blog post concerning a parent's gut feelings. I related the research, done by a Professor Dweck, to a variety of Stoic beliefs and at the end I found that the Retrospective Meditation actually paired well with the Professor's recommendations. In the article I read, Professor Dweck said she, "believes families should sit around the dinner table discussing the day’s struggles and new strategies for attacking the problem. In life no one can be perfect, and learning to view little failures as learning experiences, or opportunities to grow could be the most valuable lesson of all."
As Stoic parents, we can practice this idea and grow in our philosophy while doing so. I suggest that as we gather our family around a meal, where we probably already ask, "what did you do today?" we add the questions, "What did you succeed at and struggle with today?" and "What needs to be done tomorrow?" We can share in the triumphs of our children's day. We can share our own challenges so that our children understand that struggle is to be expected. We can plan together, as a family, our strategies to overcome obstacles big and small. In doing so, we build an understanding of, and appreciation for, the process of learning in our children (and ourselves) and they will be stronger for it. Like the ancient Stoics, we can choose to praise those things that lead to wisdom and, in doing so, we will help our children thrive.
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Thank you for listening to episode five. As always, visit ImmoderateStoic.com for this podcast and my writings. There is a comment section on every post if you have something to share. You can subscribe to Good Fortune on my website or through iTunes. If you listen through iTunes I greatly appreciate reviews. Thank you, those of you who already have given reviews. I'm @goodfortunecast on Twitter. And you can also hear me on the Stoic podcast, Painted Porch at PaintedPorch.org.
The music is by Tryad off of their album Public Domain.
And finally, Always remember, 'misfortune born nobly is good fortune.' And therefore, I wish you all good fortune until next time.
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